Ann Marie Vancas-artist

Who does not want to be stolen…ransomed…. held in their captors heart?
Listening to it beating…its rhythm consoling you into a deep sleep.

The thief knows nothing stolen ever really belongs to him. But really…to the one he has stolen from.
When the blue shadows start to gather around the trees…
The thief will feel the familiar rustling in his heart.
And he will know that it will be any day now.

The space here is confining says the captive….
Her wings are cramped and folded inside this beating heart. And she wonders how they will appear once unfolded….and dried in the sunlight.
She know that that would be any day now.

The thief lays his head down…. watching the sun slip behind the shadows of the trees…
He knows….any day now…she will no longer be around.
Then what is there left for a thief to do?
Steal another…?
He  again felt the rustling in his heart…and tried not to think about it.
But he vowed he would keep holding on.

When the sun rose…the rustling turned to an aching pain.
And the thief knew that he could not keep his captive…but he had to hold on begging her not to fly.

The captive awoke from her warm chamber…
Her restless eyes saw the sliver of the sun rays…turning the former blue shadows…a bright violet.
She rolled her wings first left. Then right…
She climbed out of the thief’s heart…causing great pain…
He thenfelt the left chamber collapse…then the right.

She looked back on the death of his heart…
almost turned back…but she noticed her wings were completely unfolded…
and she at that moment could not resist the urge to fly.
So she did….








She told her bestie….
You need to wake up…we need to leave this place…
She was bleary eyed…and wanted sleep.
But she needed to be out of the house before Jay woke.

she said…these bright lights..are not going to be the ones who guide my path.
You know…those Hollywood Hills…and the boy who waited for her there…
Were calling her…
But she ignored them…

She grabbed her stuffed bear and was out the door…
They watched the bleary eyed neighbors stumble to their cars….
coffee sloshing…
Heading to their offices…
It was then she noticed… The affluent nature…of Beverly Hills.
What a different life she lived…
Never in her life did she miss the taste of home more…

The cab screeched to a halt in front of them…
Later they got their tickets…
and sticky buns…and were heading to boarding…
But not before she stopped by a payphone…

She wept… and told her roommate…
Iv’e have a change of dreams…Im on my way back home…
Whatever I am looking for…I will find in Texas

The plane taxied down the runway…
and was off…

It wasn’t until she called her roomie when she landed…
The Earthquake had hit LA( just after her plane took off)
All planes were grounded…
And how the hell did I get out…??
I told her…
Because when a Texan has in her heart…she needs Texas…
nothing will stop her from getting home.

Meanwhile…the boy in LA awoke to news of and earthquake
and knew she was gone…
He did not even worry about the aftershocks…
All he knew was that she was gone…

And so he set out to find her…
How selfish….he was foolishly thinking this bird would give up her wings….
and would cease to fly….
In an odd change of events for LA ….
a light rain started to fall…

He thought as he looked over the city….
She is somewhere out there…and I’m going to find her…
Just then…
The one who loved him…awoke…
and he lied and told her about the  earthquake…
That he had to quickly go to the studio…and check the set…
The one who loved him fell back asleep…
Blissfully unaware of the death of their love…
had occurred in his heart.

He left in the rain…
In his mind…calling her name…and In his heart…beating out of his chest…
Palms sweaty as he started his car….
He telephoned Jay…
How could you have let her get away?
Find her…..
I don’t care if you have to go back to Texas…
There was something about her that was different from the others..
And that “different” was what made him a mad man.

His Aston Martin sped out of the drive…winding down the hill…
Avoiding the road blocks from the earthquake…
rushing to the studio…praying there would be no more aftershocks.
He made it past the guard…
No one was at the studio…
Thank God.

It was safe to call her now…
He got the roommate…
He wiped the tears from  his eyes….
He said…I’ve got to find her…
The roommate said…
she does not want to be found…

To be Continued…



 

I know that my father has my life  prearranged.
But I want to leave the castle. I have to let him know that it’s time for me to live my own life.
I want to see what is in the world…and the walls of his protection need to be removed first.
He has taught me about the wolves…and the cayotes…and how they love to destroy all that is innocent…and beautiful.


I think Daddy…that I will stay out of the  forest for now. I think instead..that I will go to the ocean.
It’s there that I feel at home….
Because you taught me to trust you when we surfed in that ocean..and the waves tossed me…to the point that I almost drowned.
But your strong arms grabbed me..and brought me to my rightful place…so that my lungs could once again fill with air…
It was at this time I was quite shocked I could not breathe like the sea creatures…and I knew of their superiority…


Sleeping at night…listening to the surf…when I awoke at my usual time of 3Am…the ocean was awake with me always.
Later I learned to surf those waves…and at once…I felt its great hand pick me up and carry me…
trusting in its power….I felt at that time..we were equals.


Is it such a coincidence I was born in the sign of water?
but on the cusp of a fire sign…
And such has this ruled my life….
I know Daddy..you don’t like astrology…but you cannot deny the irony…


I know that my romantic tendencies…were taught to me by the water…
I will forever feel possessive of the ocean…thinking that it belongs to me only…
And I need to remember it must be shared by all.
But I just cant help it….
I do not like to share the things I love.
But like a child…I am learning to do this.


All bodies of water fascinate me…
But It is the Fire who will destroy me…
so is it any wonder.. the water quenches that?
I know Daddy that you worry about me…but you should not….
I may seem sad sometimes…in my life..in my far away expression….
but it’s because I like to keep a little bit of sadness…
as a momento …








Colours Bleed to Blue.

The days that the sky… the ocean…and the earth kissed in a fiery embrace.
The heavens wept…and shed copious tears…
For those unsuspecting…asleep in their beds…traveling to and from.
A large raging body of water…flowing over the very familiar places we call home…
People…possessions..pets…
all were caught up in it’s raging torrents.
For those whose lives were once at some type of semblance to normalcy and familiarity…
were at once torn by such violence.
 They had no choice other than to survive.
And there was only one way they could survive…
Humanity did what was as natural as breathing…and that was to Love...
to trust a stranger…to not question anything but whether or not there was a capacity to save a life.
And for some…placed value on a stranger’s life higher than their own.
The only way to have such bravery. Such thoughtlessness…was at first to Love.
This was the ultimate Love..
The ultimate sacrifice…
the Love that seeks nothing in return…
It rose up higher than the waters that swept over our fragile humanity.







 


Logic can only be cold.
Water can be hot and cold…
Emotion can be both.

I want to talk of love…because so many think of this as only an emotion.
But love can only be a thing…something that can be given…taken...received.
If we want to take it to the next extreme…it can be even considered a living thing.
a living being.
and in such way I write with a Capital “L”

 It can affect our emotions…even our physical being...
Our brains and our senses all are affected by it...

Can Love be detected by logic? Only when we study the emotions I believe.

Logic cannot detect love in the same was we cannot see the air.
It has to be coloured by something… the senses can only see love.
We cannot find it by intellectualizing about it.
The senses ponder this by nature... music…art…literature…and of course, other human beings.

It can also cause such  great pain that some avoid Love in the same way one avoids food we know to make us sick.
And in the same way...cause such extasy some will become addicted...and seek it at all costs....
Then there are others who give love away as such a generous soul does with unlimited funds...never thinking if they will get a return on their investment.
Because they know that love has no limits to its generosity...

There is nothing more beautiful than falling backwards in to the pool of love…
But for those who do not know how to swim…this is the as terrifying as death.



There used to be a time..when you could awaken at 3am...and there was a surrealness...because it felt..you were the only one that literally existed.


You have a fear of looking out the window...because you are afraid there will be someone looking back at you..that you are not the only one awake...But you just HAD to know....
and so  you summon your courage...to look out the window..just to see if there is life in this 3am town.
and you know that in 4 hours...it will be 7AM...and you will be back home....but you just have to know...if there is life here at 3AM....
So you gather the courage...and you try to peer through the condensation...
you swipe a small section clean...and then a bigger one...
and you are instantly startled at the face staring back at you....fear in its eyes...
and then you realize that face is you...
and that question is answered...that only you live...in this 3 AM town...


But alas  there was hope....
Because in the distance you hear a lonly siren to comfort  you.. you knew a conductor..somewhere.... was driving that train... and he was awake like you.
So you lie half in your dream state....If I could call to him...but just knowing.,.there was someone here with me in this town....was enought to comfort me.
 you listen to the train slowly fading off into the distance...
the slow rumblings...remind you he is getting further and further away...
and how far is so far...that the train has left this 3AM town?

Even the nightbird has been silened...
and the silence is so very loud...
As you try once againto sleep...
and leave this 3AM town.




 

 


No words were spoken...









In my sleep...
we are flying..
We are riding arabian horses on the beaches of forever.

When I awake... the sun is blinding my eyes...and I know that you are not here.
So strange that I should despise the daylight...and curse the dawn.
To be paralized in my dreams...is where I want to live..
My body decomposing as my dreams have a life of their own.

If only I could stay asleep here forever...
As the dawn breaks through the curtain of my eyes...
I know that you are leaving me again.
And even if I am to sleep in the morrow..
How am I to know you will be here waiting for me?

I hate to be awake...because I know that while I am awake...
I am far from you.

Perhaps I will be trapped in my dream state with another...
It would be futile to try and look for you in the dawn...
Because I know the only place I will find you...
Is in the silence of my dreams.










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