Ann Marie Vancas-artist

There used to be a time..when you could awaken at 3am...and there was a surrealness...because it felt..you were the only one that literally existed.


You have a fear of looking out the window...because you are afraid there will be someone looking back at you..that you are not the only one awake...But you just HAD to know....
and so  you summon your courage...to look out the window..just to see if there is life in this 3am town.
and you know that in 4 hours...it will be 7AM...and you will be back home....but you just have to know...if there is life here at 3AM....
So you gather the courage...and you try to peer through the condensation...
you swipe a small section clean...and then a bigger one...
and you are instantly startled at the face staring back at you....fear in its eyes...
and then you realize that face is you...
and that question is answered...that only you live...in this 3 AM town...


But alas  there was hope....
Because in the distance you hear a lonly siren to comfort  you.. you knew a conductor..somewhere.... was driving that train... and he was awake like you.
So you lie half in your dream state....If I could call to him...but just knowing.,.there was someone here with me in this town....was enought to comfort me.
 you listen to the train slowly fading off into the distance...
the slow rumblings...remind you he is getting further and further away...
and how far is so far...that the train has left this 3AM town?

Even the nightbird has been silened...
and the silence is so very loud...
As you try once againto sleep...
and leave this 3AM town.




 

 


No words were spoken...









In my sleep...
we are flying..
We are riding arabian horses on the beaches of forever.

When I wake... the sun is blinding my eyes...and I realize  you are not here.
So strange that I should despise the daylight...and curse the dawn.
To be paralized in my dreams...is where I want to be..
My body wasting as my dreams have a life of their own.

If only I could stay  here forever...
As the dawn breaks through the curtain of my eyes...
I know that you are leaving me again.
 Even if I am to sleep in the morrow..
How am I to know you will be here waiting for me?

I hate the dawn...because I know that while the sun breaks...
I am far from you.

Perhaps I will be trapped in my dream state with another...?
It would be futile to try and look for you in the dawn...
Because I know the only place I will find you...
Is in the silence of my dreams.










I held its tiny body in my hands...
Too small to fly..and me helpless to save it.
Hearing the cries of the flock above me...made me fee more helpless.
When they saw that I had the tiny bird in my had...they began to follow me.
They made soft chortling sounds.
I felt it tremble..and it flew from this earth for the first time...
WIthout wings.
We come into this world so vulnerable...so innocent.
it is this way with all the species.
I tried to place it in the high tree.
I felt the rest of the flock needed closure..
Or was this a human thing...?
I felt they had given up once they saw the baby in the tree.
Were the birds just acting on instinct? To protect their species?
Or were they really greiving?
I went back inside to finnish my painting...
I guess I will never know...




To live only to be consumed by a love that destroys and devours...
Is not living....
But to be murdered by love...
For its very sake...

Love is the consuming fire...
It moves the very blood through our veins..
It carries our souls to the next life.

When the flesh of our hearts beat their last..
Love takes us....
                 Carries us.....
To that place which is Peace...
Nothing is desired...
The peace which buckles the knees...
and pulls the tears from our angry eyes...
With only the sweet breath of love to fill our lungs...
Tell me that this is not all that is needed...
Because it is....


          
                    









Seeing and Reading into pieces of people's lives..The musicians...the actors..
the artists...
Housewives..doctors...famous and the not so famous...
The memes..the themes..the lives and the lies..
People crying and people dying..,
The beach trips...road trips...acid trips...
I have met many people and lost them on this site..
The fights...the flights...the makeups and the breakups..
A reality show with thousands of channels...
Windows into people's lives...sometimes what is really there and...
Sometimes...only what they want you to see...
The Liberals...The Conservatives...The Middle of the Roadsters...
The comforts and the chastisements from strangers and friends alike..
The take all over the map posters..and the Take it to the Private Messengers.
The celebrations and the tears...

But before all of this...
The beach Trips and the Road Trips..The Youth Trips...
Long Trips over and under...
The bridges and the Bayous
Late night cigarettes on the trunk of my olde chevy..
Long talks that never..and Always got heavy...
The loves and the heartbreaks...
The blood sisters and the pinky shakes..
Suntans on the roof...and always...always..
Feeling bullet proof




You listened to the love songs...yet you love like you do..
How is this so?

Why do we fight the ones we love..?
because we also fight Love.

The day that the brain and love meet...
Let's hope the brain is not paying attention.

Love is like running with your eyes closed.
Makes sure it is in a field of flowers...
So that when you fall it will be beautiful.

You will never know how happy you are until you are not.

 


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