And just like that…she went back to believing in magic of things unseen.
The wind that carries the sail that carries ships is stronger that the rope that ties it to the shore. Lost at Sea...
She was not looking for a blind man. But a man that does not see with his eyes.
I cannot be with someone who does not see me she said...
She watched Haos ….remembering that time on the beach…when the sea creatures convinced her to love this broken thing… love is the unseen… was this just someone wanting to be entertained…? something to excite him…?
Someone who wants to live his life in an intoxicated state…?
Egos Burning....
She knew it was wrong to do…and her hesitation was understandable… But She let them talk her into entering this world… and he tried to change Istina…to make her into the land creatures he loves so much…but she would not change…to his frustration…and the very thing he loved about her…he tried unbeknownst to him..to destroy…
Waves of doubt rocked the shores...
He thought her simple life with the sea creatures made Istina ignorant…He never understood her because he did not care to…Her outward beauty was enough for him…It was all he wanted..and this was how he “loved” all the land creatures…
She did what they asked...stayed for a time…but realized..she missed her beloved ocean.
she missed the serenity….the peace…and mostly…the ones who loved her with such love… they did not have to look at her to see her.
Haos told himself and to the others…he did not need her..she was so easily replaceable with the other land creatures who were so much like him…and there were so many so why not? And they like him…good looking…perfection and intelligence not to be surpassed by anyone else…including this idealistic creature…full of music…and daydreams…and most of all her imperfections…so unlike the land creatures…who surpassed her in all ways… he thought..How he despised her imperfections...
Perhaps he was better off …than to be with such a strange creature…one that he never saw…understood...And her home..the sea..bored him immensly..
With its silence...rocking back and forth...wind whispering but never really saying anything... She was so much like the sea he hated...all one monochrome colour...he never saw that it was the sun and the moon that dictated the different shades of blue...varied by the proximity to the shore...could suddenly be a deep turquoise...if placed in a glass and held to the light..completely clear and colourless...
To him it made perfect sense…if you have no idea what is in front of you…you cannot lose anything that you never saw in the first place…Therefore it never existed...
Istina was angry though…angry that she left her slumber… to be with this land creature…
So set in this life of the temporary…of the sadness…
this deep empty void of a life without love terrified her…
She missed the warmth of the ocean….the expanse and freedom of being in a place of love.
It left her exhausted…
Trying to be like the land creatures exhausted her…
She accepted her distinct simpleness… thinking with fear…how close she was to losing this loving curiosity..and optimism for what was real.
She was slowly being infected by the angry bitter and senseless life of creatures who only existed to feed off of each other…..
This time on the land…left her with a wound…and it would probably leave a scar…
She looked back with sadness…one last time…
She saw a distorted view of Haos on the shore…
She knew he would never reach her here…
His lungs would quickly fill with water and that would be the end…
She quickly swam away…feeling the embrace of the clear warm tropical waters…
He was better off with the land creatures..she told herself…
they can revel in their drunkenness …and talk of how stupid it is to love…using each other in a viscous cycle…then once their use is no longer acceptable…They will keep their eyes open for the next commodity that come their way…and if suitable for use…the cycle will continue as before…
Like a broken ferris wheel in an abandoned park..the rickety old contraption spinning endlessly…
New riders…but always the same view… and as the ride gets older and older…more rickety until it too can no longer spin on its axis…having to give up and be destroyed…where in a decade or more…never to be thought of again…
this is what makes people old…and look old…and to be old…their hearts were like dried fruit…their bodies soon followed…
fading like footprints in the sand...
To be eternally youthful is to be able to love…
and to have love…
This jadedness of the land creatures left their appearances ugly….no matter what else they did to improve the outside…
Their continence grey…cloudy…
There was no luminosity….
And what? Was this living?
Selfish love...
Please don’t let me here on my own…he said...
But you will never really be alone she explained to him.… never really will be…he will always have someone in his presence…and for some that was enough…as for him she did not know..…. And perhaps he can find and be in love…if he wants… or not…with a creature who loves as he sees fit….eagos aflame...token words...adrenaline dumps...until there is no where left to turn...
It will be enough...
But perhaps she will return...
Ahhh....Istina...when will you every learn?
and she has seen this face before....
She did not care any longer about the sunshine...she instead focused on the reflection of its rays from the moon...
It hid the fire in her eyes..
She swam away…and hid amongst the seaweed to recover with a long slumber….
She awoke once…
thinking she was still on the land…and panicked…but realizing she was back in the ocean…and home … She thought to herself…I am only a small creature buried in a vast ocean … …she fell back into a peaceful sleep.